Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Baby A!

I graduated from weekly appointments to every two weeks! My Fibrinogen has been consistently high ( In the 500's, which is very good. If it drops into the 200's then we will have a problem- I will start to hemorrhage... Thankfully hemorrhaging due to fibrinogen levels is rare... However, this experience makes it hard to take any comfort in statistics. Someone, a real person, had/has to account for those statistics). Today I was told that based on her growth ultrasound two weeks ago, as well as my fibrinogen levels, they no longer need to give her the steroids at 34 weeks. She is doing incredibly well!
I will still deliver at  37 weeks and most likely have a c-section. The reasons: She is breech, my doctor believes it would be a difficult induction since my body will not  physically be ready, having a c-section leaves little room for any type of error, plus, we want to hold and see Lilah. The truth is that a vaginal birth may cause damage to her body ( I hate thinking about that, but it is the reality).  
My doctor made a point to tell me that he is really proud of me and that I am doing very well based on the circumstances. I thought it was incredibly nice of him to say that. He didn't have to. My doctors have been so personable and I really appreciate that.  But honestly, what else can I do other than to move forward and be strong for the baby we do have?
I firmly believe that a mother's 1 job is to be strong for their child. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't have my days where I just cry out of nowhere. Or go into her room and look at the two bear jackets I bought when I was just 9 weeks (an excited impulse buy),

but what good would it do to sit on the couch and cry all day long? I have a choice. Everything in life is a choice and I chose/ choose not to dwell on what I can not change.   
So far I couldn't ask for more and hope these last 4 1/2 weeks go by smoothly!

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