Tuesday, April 19, 2011


I took a very big step forward yesterday and washed all of our baby A's clothes! This child will honestly have to go through 6 outfit changes a day in order to wear all these clothes! Dustin's grandma was so incredibly generous. She sent all of this in February!  Then at my shower she gave us even more if you can believe it! 
This was sent before we lost Lilah. I'm not sure if I am going to keep the duplicate outfits or give them to someone who needs them. So far I have only washed one of each identical outfit. I have to admit my heart sinks when I look at them.

My sister sent a HUGE Tupperware as well. I think she is more excited to dress this kid than I am!

At first I had a bit of a panic attack. I have to admit I am now suddenly superstitious and have developed some OCD habits... I have to put my jewelry in the jewelry box a certain way, etc. or I feel something bad will happen to her. I only put her new pictures on the left side of the refrigerator, because I had been putting them on the right until Lilah passed .  As I type this I feel so ridiculous.

I would honestly be a bit worried, but I swear often times I tell myself that it is silly and I don't give into my urges. It just makes me feel better. Therefore, I entertain my habits most of the time. So odd, I know.  Anyways, because I am now "superstitious" , I felt that I was possibly jinxing myself by taking off the tags and washing the clothes.

To my surprise I felt great afterwords. Now I truly feel that we WILL be taking her home. We even put together the crib and put on the crib that my mom made. We will not be decorating the nursery. We are in the process of building a new home that should be finished this July! Then I will decorate to my heart's content. I am going to keep the paint neutral or Versailles blue. I'm going for a 18th century French look.
A close up of the crib skirt fabric


  1. That crib skirt fabric is gorgeous! And I don't think you should feel ridiculous for anything that makes you feel better.

  2. I recognize most of those outfits from the Carter's store. That's seriously how much time I spend there! That has to be so hard to have two of everything and no Lilah to put the matching outfit on. I am so sorry. Don't feel silly I too have rituals. I only lay on one side in fear my baby will die if I don't.